Yup, you guessed it. It was the same report! Same
graphics, same titles, same slides, same meaningless, pompous platitudes . . .
same everything. Into this "template" were substituted a few
spreadsheets, names of each company's execs, etc. Otherwise, SOS for
all.
Well what do expect for $100,000 per month? Individual attention?
Here's what the big guys
do. First, they get you to commit to a whopping (often six figures per
month) sum of money for a few months. Then, the big guys send their big
guys, for a two hour meeting. Look at them hard - it's the last you'll
see of them for awhile. After that, four or five 25 year old recent
MBA's with no experience and know-it-all
attitudes - move in and start "educating" you.
A few months or so later, right about the time you're ready to pull their
underwear over their ears, they go back to their HQ, plug a few spreadsheets
into the template, take it to the big guy who reviews it, but doesn't sign it,
and then the little guys return to present it to as high in your management as
you'll allow. They have been trained to disregard any reactions from mid
level management, but to take note of every facial expression of senior
management.
They take this information back to their office, remove and/or revise
anything controversial, and get their big guy to sign it. Now that the
whole report is pabulum, the big guy himself takes it back and re-presents it
to your top management, who are in awe, because after all, this is the big
guy.
These guys are shameless, really. In the seventies, they went around
to all the big firms saying, "What are you doing with all these retained
earnings laying around? You need to diversify!"
General Mills got into the outdoor apparel business. ITT was selling
insurance, managing hotels, and selling convenient deserts. Hell,
everyone was paying large consulting firms to tell them to do it, and everyone
was paying large consulting firms to tell them how.
Somewhere in the early eighties, somebody at one of these consulting firms
figured out that everyone had listened to them, that everyone was all screwed
up, and that there were no customers of size left to convert. Something
had to be done, and a new buzz phrase was spoken into being - - - "core
competencies". The new message became, "What are you
doing with all of this diversification? You need to concentrate on core
competencies."
It's a shell game. Expect the business trend in the next few years to
once again be diversification, albeit called by a new name - - -and led by
large consulting firms.
I have no need nor motivation to engage in these shenanigans. I need
you to make a lot of money, love what I do, and recommend me to your colleagues.
I have every reason in the world to be smart, responsive, light on my feet,
and deliver results.
